Unit 5 -- Subtle Mind Practice

Hi Everyone,

Although I am still not feeling 100%, I am feeling a lot better this week! Hooray! : )

I found this week's exercise to have been the hardest one for me yet. The reason this one seemed harder than last week's (minus feeling super sick), is because last week we were told to focus on specific things. Although my mind wandered a lot, I felt like I was still getting some of the relaxation benefits. When I had to focus on someone I loved, I was able to do that (especially when I imagined him bringing me chicken noodle soup!). When I had to focus on those who challenge me, I was able to do that, simply because I was already feeling fired up. However, this week, it was to focus on breath and basically let the mind relax. All I can say is 1) I definitely need to practice this every day and 2) I have already felt the differences within me!
So why do I need to practice this every day? Like a lot of other people, my mind is racing 24/7. I will even go as far as to say that even while I sleep my brain is scurrying from thought to thought. The reason I say this is because even my dreams revolve around grocery shopping, work, appointments, etc. What ever happened to those fun dreams where you can fly? Ha! Even though I make lists and have my Google calendar accessible wherever I go, I find myself reviewing all my obligations, my appointments, my lists, etc. Overlapping those thoughts are personal predictions on what those obligations are going to lead to (more obligations), listing out everything I need to remember to say and bring to the appointments, reviewing my lists for anything forgotten, etc. On top of that is thinking about the people involved in those activities and my past experiences with them, wondering what certain comments meant, what their body language was saying, etc. As I am going through these thoughts, then there are all the other thoughts going on in my head, reviewing my feelings, recalling things I heard on the news, thinking of family and friends, being nostalgic, etc. Of course I can't write out all my thoughts, and I realize this was quite a rant, but it just goes to show the layer upon layer of busy thoughts going through my head. What scares me is each of these thoughts, memories, predictions, analyzations, etc. have an emotional impact on me. Those emotions then signal to my body to respond in a defensive way. So, I could be driving along in my car, and although I am having a nice relaxing drive, my body and mind are twisted in agony from all the unending thoughts, various emotions, etc. It's exhausting just writing about it, let alone imagining how much deeper and what bigger impact this is having on my body and spirit!
With this exercise, I found it harder because of  everything mentioned above. My spirit and body were more than happy to participate in this guided exercise, but my mind had a harder time. Last week I was told to focus on something, so my mind seemed at ease, but this week, to notice but not buy into the ongoing stream of thoughts was driving my mind crazy. There were times, when focusing on breath, were I felt the calmness and peace, and then suddenly I realized that along with feeling, my mind was trying to frantically attach images, memories, etc. to this feeling. It was actually quite humorous.
As I went into this exercise deeper (and even repeated it because I enjoyed feeling relaxed), my body loosened up. I wasn't noticing the lingering symptoms of my cold. It was like a mental vacation. Granted my focus was interrupted a lot, but I just followed the guide and brought my focus back to my breath.
I am going to practice this each day. My best friend is very much into meditation and she says the more you practice, the easier it gets. I would love to "act with intention" instead of reacting in life (Dacher, 2006).
I am thinking this might be a great listening to exercise to do as I run as well. Each day (when not sick), I go out and run in order to clear my head, grab some alone time, and work on keeping my body healthy. I find that after a certain point of running, my head just clears and I feel calm. Using this guidance, I am wondering how this will deepen my calm or change my process. Along with running, I hope to use this, with meditation, in order to practice quieting my mind and enriching my life experience.
I truly believe that since the mind, body, and spirit are connected, it is imperative to keep these balanced and as healthy as possible. As I am witnessing, once one becomes out of balance, there is a ripple effect throughout the whole body/mind/spirit. I am hoping to get them back in balance again!
Have a great week everyone! : )